Wandering Morning

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This morning–in one of the rare moments when I woke up reminded that the first encounter I should have is not with the toilet nor a nice warm water but God–I read through Psalms 6 and 7. I had thought of just reading a chapter but I just couldn’t find anything there that spoke to me. Psalm 6 was a prayer of distress, and distress I wasn’t feeling! So I continued on to the next, until I stopped at the last verse of Psalm 7. “I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.”

I recall times in my pilgrim life when I awoke to an overwhelming sense of praise. It’s like my night’s slumber had constrained me from this bursting fountain of delight. Well today wasn’t that day.

Morning Bed

Despite of that dryness, I slightly decided (yes, slightly because it wasn’t like I was so adamant about it as much as I was very reluctant, actually) to make a DUTY out of my DEVOTION. I told myself that there were times that I had forced myself to eat even if I didn’t want to eat, or had a conversation with someone even if I didn’t have a voice. So there would be times that I’d really have to come to the Lord even if my whole being doesn’t really FEEL like doing so. Then I recalled something I had read a few weeks ago about meeting God as a “get to” experience, instead of a “have to”. I GET TO hang out with the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Prince of Peace, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Adorable, Amazing, Awesome God! That thought alone should make me enthusiastic in encountering God.

The verse states, “I will praise the Lord…and will sing praises..” Nothing much of praise on my end. So I thought I’d youtube a few songs to get me started. I thought of songs that wouldn’t distract. I thought of looking up on my music library. Minutes passed. After a few tries, I was led to a song that echoed my heart’s cry. It wasn’t a cry of praise, but a bare cry of slightly wanting (yes it’s still slightly even to this point) to come to God but not really getting there.

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above.

God, please tune my heart to sing. Your mercy is never ceasing and so should my praise be. Could You please put songs in my heart and mouth pretty much what the angels sing up on high in sheer adoration? I’ve been singing songs to myself, to other people, to things that I enjoy, yet there are times when these things numb me and I miss the whole privilege of singing to You. I’m really sorry. Would You once again orchestrate my heart to strum the right strings, let my voice ride on Your melody? 

Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constraint to be!
Let Thy goodness like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart
Oh take and seal it.
Seal it for thy courts above.

Here’s me asking You once again to bind my wandering heart to Yours, seal it with a kiss. And thank You for your grace and goodness. Amen.

Your Pilgrim Princess on the morning of the 29th of January 2015

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